An internationally acclaimed group of Evil Geniuses have been bought to justice for attempting to play god. As is the nature of such Geniuses, they had hatched a horrific plan to conquer the world, in which they were to enslave humanity, by creating a master race of radioactive Jellyfish/Human hybrids. By splicing Human and Jellyfish Semen together, mixing them in the testicles of a hamster, and adding a healthy dose of 'green', these Evil Geniuses fought to produce a race of creatures that would 'far surpass any life form currently here on earth.
Suspicions were aroused when a security leak from the Evil Genius's superden, Iniquity Mountain, was passed into the hands of the press. From a bunch of papers found in a dustbin in Bognor, England, the groups plans were discovered, detailing the International Evil Geniuses plans for world domination.
Evil Geniuses are normally credited with the building of highly suspect machinery, such as the Robotelescopic Briefcase, George Foreman Grill and Nuclear Catflap. However, the documents found hinted that this disreputable gang of evil Geniuses has long had a history of attempted cloning. Last year, one of their number, Insane Professor Tim, was arrested for attempting to produce a half-midget, half-donkey "super-being", which, he claimed, would "be able to carry heavy loads, but at the same time avoid low branches and stuff". Prof. Tim was arrested when he attempted to staple a donkey to 'Willow' star Warwick Davies.
A snippet of information from the documents.
Prosecuting Lawyer, Hope Feathers, states "This group, under the guidence of Mad Dr. Peteter De'ath have attempted to mesh together all manner of beings, but, luckily for the world, their experiments always get cut short when the test subject complain bitterly about having an animal stuck to them in some way, from the midget with a donkey, to the hamster glued to the pregnant woman and the angry squirrel shoved down the trousers of an insurance broker. Though that could possibly be an unconnected incident. In a state of confusion, they once lashed a piglet to the Eiffel Tower and scarpered."
A flying rocket-gunhorse, presented as evidence of what 'real' genetic mutations should do.
Dr. Peteter De'ath, on his arrest, claimed that their latest vile plan had been successful, and that a Jellyfish-cross-Human had been created, and set free on the unsuspecting public. "But you'll never find him!" the good Doctor cackled. "No! He's indistinguishable from normal humans! And he's out to kill each and every one of you!" Dr. De'ath then proceeded to cackle insanely and would have raised him claw-like hands to the sky in triumph had he not been soundly beaten by alert members of the British Constabulary, on hand in court.
Early reports indicate this gun-toting Jellyfish Man might be the latest test-subject of the International Evil Geniuses.
The trial continues.
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